I’ve made it to one week sober 🙌
This is the longest amount of time I’ve been sober in 2019, and boy has it been tough. A week has felt like a lifetime. It’s been full of shakes, tiredness, over sleeping, chaining smoking, and a growing attachment to Redbull (I must stop that). Last night on the 7th day sober, I had my most difficult challenge yet, facing a panic attack without alcohol. With my mental health I face challenges throughout the day that are from my paranoia and anxiety, and these episodes are enough to throw me down a terrifying spiral that I can’t handle without the aid of a reliance. Usually I’m either too drunk to realise I’m having one, or I turn to alcohol straight away to drown these problems out so that I can’t deal with it. What I didn’t realise though, it that the alcohol was fuelling many of my mental health issues and making them worse.
So last night when I had my first panic attack sober in years, I sat in the staff room shaking like a leaf. I ran through every possibility in my mind to calm myself down and find a better alternative to a double vodka orange. It took nearly an hour, but I found it, and it was so obvious; my work. In the past week, I’ve done more work on my EP than in the last 2 years I’ve been working on it. My creative flair has returned (maybe that’s why my face is red?), and it’s been a great outlet for distractions and resolutions.
Last night I panicked myself in worry that I would break my one week of sobriety. Last night I DJ’ed until I lost myself in the music and the shakes were gone (at least for a couple hours), and I’m starting to realise music has saved my life more times than I’ve given it credit
Also, waking up this morning without a hangover? Can’t beat it mate x •
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